Last Sunday, I happened to go to the movies and watch Finding Neverland, which is a life story of Sir Barrie, the author of Peter Pan. It struck a cord in me because basically I’m a serious guy and I could relate to the young boy Peter, who lost his father and then later his mother. I lost my father when I was young and for sometime, there is only but hatred and anger in me. I wanted to grow up as soon as possible before and I wish that it could be done in just a few seconds. I wanted to grow up so that people that I deal in business and in life would take me seriously and not view me as a boy who doesn’t have any credibility. I wanted to grow up immediately such that, people wouldn’t treat my family and me as nothing because I don’t have a father. Eventually, I did up grow up and I matured earlier than most of people at my age although it takes a lot longer than just a few seconds. It came to the point that I could relate better with old timers rather than young people even that of my age. It got to a point where I looked older than my real age. Being serious has its toll on looks I guess. And that is where the movie kicked in. I sometimes wanted to be a boy again replete of responsibility and full of excuses. I could say that I shouldn’t be doing this because I’m a boy or I shouldn’t be knowing this because I don’t had to. However, reality bites and it bites so hard that you bleed profusely. I could turn a blind eye to everything. I could choose to ignore what is happening, pretend that I don’t know, assume that the truth doesn’t exist but who am I fooling? In the end, it is me that got smacked in the face and nobody else. I learned a long time ago that life is not to run away from. I had to face life when I’m ready and I still have to face life when I’m not. I had to decide with all the pertinent facts at hand and also to decide without the details as well. There are times that I had the courage and the attitude to face life but there are also times that I have neither the courage nor the attitude to face life but life still knocks on my door and I have to answer it even if I’m not prepared. Life is like a conveyor belt that brings you to places you never expect nor you want to be much less you choose to be but you still have to face it. However, it is not entirely a hopeless case. I can still choose how I’m going to face it, either with dignity, sanity and logic or entirely in a stupid manner. I cannot avoid making decisions but I can delay the inevitable by a few moments until at least I think I’m prepared even if not thoroughly prepared for the consequences of my choice. Best of all, I could choose the conveyor that I’m riding in. It takes foresight to choose and one has to think it well over. Control over emotional impulse is a necessity although cold logic is tasteless, dull, and sometimes cruel. Choices. Never choose the choice given to you but instead work for the choice that you will eventually choose. That is my motto and one that I never mastered it or could ever master. Choices are hard, life is even harder but sometimes I liked being a kid again along with all the privileges of being one even for a fleeting second. Hahhhhhh…………. Where is Neverland? Could anybody point me the way for me?
No comments:
Post a Comment