My Cousin Philip

It’s been 2 years since I saw the little fellow and boy, how tall and big he has become. My cousin Philip came by for a visit two weeks ago. He is already 8 years old now. Time indeed fly when you’re not watching. It has been 8 years already when I cradle the little guy in my arms. My cousin stayed with us when he was just a few months old because his mother is too busy to take care of her and hiring a maid is an expensive affair in Taiwan. Besides she couldn’t really look after boy given her full time job. I still remember the fond memories I had with the little guy. I still could vividly remember that pair of curious eyes looking at me trying to figure out who I am and why I am smiling at him. Nor would I forget how he literally jump up in joy whenever I took some time out from my work at the office and come up to see how he was doing. He would try to get up even though his limbs are still weak and extends his arms asking for me to carry him and play with him even just for a few minutes. I would usually saddle him on my neck and carry him on my shoulder and play horsy with me of course being the horse. Often times, my hair got wet because he would drool over my hair. There was a time he did even pee and soil on my neck! Speaking of soiled diapers, I never once changed his diapers. In fact, I never changed a diaper in my life so far! I came close once and that was when the “yaya” went away for a break and I along with my sister was left to care for my cousin. I had to change my cousin’s soiled diaper back then and I called my sister to do it. She complained and retorted that “he” is a guy and as a “guy”, I should be the one doing it. I countered that I’m still single and that I maybe traumatized by the entire event that I may forgo any thought of marriage besides I’m the big brother and I’m ordering her to do it. Well, I don’t know what convinced her to do it but she did it and I was excused from changing diapers subsequently. Talk about privileges. Come to think of it, I should be putting that in writing in my pre – nuptial agreement when I’m getting married. No changing of the baby’s diapers. I wonder if that would stand in court. One of the most memorable moments I have with the little guy was when he started to walk. At first, he walks with me assisting him. Eventually, I let him go and runs toward my mom. Boy! I should have taken that picture, that first walk. It was a sight to behold. In the process of learning to walk, he more than once stumbled and fell. Most of the time, he would cry and we would pick him up and he would try to walk again. There are times though when in his eagerness to walk, he would pick himself up and try to walk again without shedding any tears. I had to hand it to the little guy. It was an admirable feat, which not many adults could do. I always thought that people, especially adults, would generally stay down when they’ve stumbled or have fallen. They wouldn’t pick themselves up or rather they refused to pick themselves up and here we have a year old kid who in his quest to walk wouldn’t even mind to fall a couple of times and stand up again until he succeeds. I wish I had the little guy’s optimism or his zest or his stubborn determination. At any rate, once my cousin started to walk, I would always hold his hands and walk him down the neighborhood every morning to buy “pandesal”. He would gaze around as we walk trying to remember his new environment. His world has just got bigger from the usual room and the living room that he is accustomed to play and sleep in. I also remembered the first time he speaks out and it is over the telephone during one of his “conversation” with his parents. His father is particularly overjoyed when he heard his son says “papa” over the telephone. I’d say that I’m a little disappointed for I was hoping that he would call me “kuoko” (Fookien for big brother) after learning to speak but he didn’t. Well, that was eight years ago, now my cousin speaks straight Mandarin that I wasn’t even able to quite keep up with. Even with my rustiness, I still manage to communicate with him. Boy! He is quite talkative now. During his stay here, he was the one who does most of the talking. I never really know what to say. I used to ask him whenever I got him on the phone that if he was being good or that if he is doing well with his studies. Now, he is all grown up, I don’t know what to talk about. He was always babbling and I couldn’t understand a word of what he is trying to say and it is then, I started to listen. I realize that my cousin is talking about cartoons, the characters, the computer games he played and the characters he was playing. I was amazed by the sheer facts that he remembers. He could in fact tell the story of the entire episode and went deeper as in to speculate as to the origins of their power and birth. Wow! It is simply amazing, kids and their imaginations. However, I was particularly surprised and at the same breath thoroughly disappointed with my cousin, though it was no fault of his in the first place. I was surprised to learn that he knows “San Kuo” or the storyline of the Three Kingdoms pretty well. Being a historian, I was naturally delighted, for San Kuo was one of the great epic historical legends in Chinese history if not the greatest. However, I am greatly saddened to learn that he treats the entire legend as a game and that he is neither interested in the story or in its moral conception of right and wrong but rather in the power and hit points of the individual character. Never mind that Cao Cao is a sinister Machiavellian plotter with no morals as long as he has a greater power and stronger hit points and is likely to win a mortal combat duel, he is the “hero”. I am aghast to hear this. What are we doing to the kids? What are we trying to do with our future generations? Are we creating morons out of them? Worst, probably even devoid of morality. Damn! This is personal. I don’t care if they derided Star Wars or even twist Star Trek, its fiction but this is history! It’s the soul of a nation, their collective identity and it is a mortal sin, correction, a sacrilege whose punishment is eternal damnation to even twist it! I’d think I got to write and complain to those asshole on what they are doing. After listening to this, I tried to take him away from his dependence on Nintendo or Sega by teaching him something else. I first introduce him to my small hobby called reading. Starting with the storybooks of famous people in history, which his mother gave to me when I was his age. To my disappointment, he is not interested in it. Apparently, he has no genetic disposition for unlocking the hidden secrets of the universe. And so, I do the next best thing, I thought him how to play chess, Chinese chess and Chinese checkers. We did play a couple of games though and I was elated to see him getting interested in it though I doubt it if he would eventually get hitch to it since nobody is going to play with him when he gets back to Taiwan. Next, I try to have a decent conversation with him. As I mentioned, I really don’t know what to talk about with him and so I picked the oldest topic that men could readily agree and understand, women or for him, girls. He is after all, a guy. I ask him if he has a crush in his third grade class. To which he answered no. However, I was rather surprised that he or his entire male classmates hates the girls in class. I asked him why and he said that the girls are mean as in very mean. In fact, he calls one of the girls as “mu lao hu” (Mandarin for lioness or to be more precise, the mother lioness). According to him, the girls would always play a prank upon the boys and when the boys return in favor, the girls wouldn’t hesitate to run to the teacher (who happens to be a very “old” lady) and tell. The teacher would then punish the entire male students with extra assignments, detention, or a prolonged sermon. Talk about gender biases and equality. My cousin was so agitated with the story telling that he quipped that he wanted to give one of the girls a knuckle sandwich for being bitchy and mean. I would have sided with my cousin if the person in question were a little guy like my cousin but being the perfect gentlemen that I am, I counseled him otherwise. I told him to be nice to the womenfolk and that men like us should be loving them instead of trying to get even. I advice him that if he wanted the women to be nice to him, he should approach the girl and compliment her by saying that she is beautiful and she reminds him of his mother. Or if he wants to impress the girl, he could say in English, “Hey baby, you are beautiful.” Well, of course, I’m expecting too much from my cousin. He is still too young to understand the intricacies of flattering women and become a young Romeo over night or was he? It came as a shock for me to hear my cousin saying that one of the girls became nice when she had a boyfriend. Damn! Am I hearing right? 8 year olds having boy friend and girl friend relationship? Is that normal? Or for that matter. Is it legal? My jaws just dropped and remained open for like eternity upon hearing him tell the story. Damn, was I getting old? No, in fact, I am very, very old already as in grandfatherly old. At any rate, I got so vexed or should I say extremely traumatized by the news that I decided to drop the topic altogether and flip the channel switch and out comes Popeye in the tube. Good thing there is TV and good thing there is Popeye. My cousin got glued to it instantly and I was able to extricate myself from the mess. I had since then reminded myself not to talk about girls with my cousin at least until he turns 18. Damn, I feel so old. Well anyway, my cousin and I didn’t just watch TV, play chess, or talk about girls during his stay here. We manage to play some sports. Actually, my brother and sister got to play sports with him. They started by taking him to a badminton court and taught him how to play. He got so hooked to the game that he refuses to leave the court and when he did leave, he kept on nagging me to play with him at home, which I obliged of course. My brother and sister also took him to a sport shop and let him play basketball for a while inside the store. We also manage to play bowling ball. At first, the little guy is so enthusiastic and cheerful about it even though he consistently didn’t manage to hit anything with an occasional strike in between. He even told me that it is just a game and there is nothing to feel bad about it. I had to say I admired the little guy’s spirit. However, as the game wore on and the score piled and he getting the consistent zeroes in his game. His mood changed. His spirit sank and his cheerful demeanor is gone. What I saw was the first telltale sign of adult frustration, exasperation, and disappointment. It crushed me as it crushed him to actually see him like that. His head is bowed, his shoulder sags, and he lost all will to continue. Damn, what I have done? I let the little guy down. Of course, I did coach him what to do but I wasn’t a good player myself and I’m a terrible coach. At the end of the game, I try to pull him out of the room but he insisted on playing again for revenge, I think. His mother was adamant not to continue but I can’t let the little guy down at least not giving him a chance to fight. So I obliged and play another game, I even let him played my slot so he could practice as I continue to coach him. I jump from my seat and cheer him up whenever he hits a pin, even if it is just a single pin. In the end, the outcome is the same. Apparently, his arms are sore even if refuses to admit it and that affected his game. The cloud is over at his head and the weight of the world is on his shoulder. Poor kid. As we walked out of the alley, I told him that his father is actually a better bowler than I am. Amazingly, he looked at me surprised and asked if it is true. I affirmed it in an instant and actually told him to ask his father to teach him how to play bowling when he got back to Taiwan. I also told him to eat a lot especially vegetables so that he could grow strong and come back next year for a rematch. After saying that, I saw a lit in his face, a glimmer of hope. Ah yes, hope. Wasn’t that what the youth stands for? I missed the little guy already. He is probably having a blast at Tokyo Disneyland as of now. Wasting time away enjoying life and having fun, as should all 8 years old should be doing. I never have that much fun when I was 8 but that was in the past. I had a standing offer from my aunt to accompany the little guy to Hong Kong Disneyland this coming October. Honestly speaking, I’m too old to be asking for Mickey’s autograph as well as too busy to actually squeeze a trip there but the thought of riding with the little guy on a roller coaster. Well, I got to find time to actually visit Disneyland. After all, you could only be 8 year old once, right?