ELECTION IS IN THE AIR

You know that it’s election season when….
Your local councilor
Hung up a large banner
Greeting everybody,
“Happy Valentines Day”
As early as the first week of January!
If that is the case, why should they stop there?
Why not greet everybody, Happy Easter, or Happy Independence day
Perhaps they should also greet everybody
Merry Christmas 2007 and Happy New Year 2008
And why should they stop at 2008, why not greet everybody
In advance for the next three years!

You know it’s time to elect your officials when ……
Your local congressman sends you
A Christmas card, A post card, and A calendar card
With his face on it along with his son and his wife
Out of the blue in January!
Strange but I never got any card from him the last 2 years
That he is in office!
Maybe I should I ask for one every year
That’s if he still remembers me after
He got elected.

You know election is in the air when……….
Roads are being repaired
Drainages are being cleaned
Potholes are being covered
And street lightings are being installed
All at the same time and
In a hurry
During peak traffic season!
And we all have to suffer
The inconvenience of
The ongoing frenzied repairs
And all those times that they don’t do their job at
Maintaining
Roads
Drainage
Potholes
Street lightings!
What the heck they’re doing the last two years!

You know it’s election time when …………
Mayors dole out
Relief goods
To the poor
Even if
There is no calamity
But on occasions like
Their birthdays!
And on Valentine’s Day!
And during times of calamities in the last two years of their tenure
Relief goods are hard to come by!

Election is definitely in the air and you could smell it when …….
Politicians started talking like showbiz personality and
Showbiz people began talking like politicians!
They say art imitates life
Or
Was it the other way around?

The foul smell that is politics and election is noticeable when ………
The corrupt politicians speaks out against corruption
And the incorruptible remained mum
On their corrupt party mates!
Or when sleaze balls talks about principles
That they don’t understand
And principled men
Lay aside their principles
In favor of
Realpolitik!

It is time to vote when
Would be politicians
Started courting your votes
By being charitable
Giving away
500 pesos
And at the same time
Ask you a favor,
Vote for me.

Politics stinks during elections especially when
Best friends became
Bitter foes and
Mortal enemies became
Friends dearer than brothers!
I remembered Disraeli once said,
“Nations have no eternal enemies nor
Permanent friends but
Only interest.”
I guess that also applies to
Politicians as well.
And banks?

It is during elections when you hear
Politicians rarely speak of
Platforms of governance
To the people
To educate them about
What the country needs
Instead
You see the politicians
Dance on the platform
Just to woo votes.
And I thought we are
Electing officials
To run our country
To improve our lives
And not
Electing representatives of
The Filipino people
To the
American Idol!
Simon! You’ll be the judge!

Elections is definitely here when……
We ponder on
Our choice of candidates
That best represents
Our interest
That has the best qualifications
To lead our country
Our city
Our community
And we enthusiastically
Tell others about
Our choice
And why it should be their choice
And when they didn’t
Approve of our choice or
Didn’t vote our candidates
We call them
BOBO!

And during election days
We jealously guarded
Our votes
And NAMFREL
Diligently guarded the
Ballot boxes
And yet,
We never hear
Politicians conceding defeat
But instead hear them
Cried out that they’re being
Cheated!
In the Philippines, there is no loser in the polls
But only being cheated out of their office!

Elections in the Philippines happen every three years.
Which is just right
For if it were to be held
Every year
We might get tired of it.
And
Bored to death
By
The same antics
And if it were held
Every six years
We might get anxious of it
And even
Bored to death
Waiting for it
After all
Elections in the Philippines
Is the greatest show in the country!
Er, I mean comedy.

P.S. Remember everybody to go out and vote! By the way, I’m running for President of this country.