After dinner on the second day of my vacation trip, the entire group retire for the night at the Huating hotel to get packed and get to bed early since we are to leave the hotel by 0600 the following morning and check in the airport in time for our 0800 flight to Beijing. However, I had other plans for the evening. I was going to meet up with a “long lost” friend and classmate of mine, Anthony Wee. A few years back, Anthony got assigned to Shanghai to oversee operations for an IT company and has stayed in Shanghai since then. We (as a class) came to miss him at our annual class reunion during the mid – Autumn festival. It is for this reason that I called him up once I got to Shanghai and arrange a get together. Well, Anthony if I remember well is quite “skinny”. Actually, we both were the “skinniest” students during our high school days (I weigh something like 88 – 90 lbs). Imagine to my surprise when he entered the door of the hotel, he didn’t changed at all (Dang!)! He is still thin while I had since “ballooned’ from “stick like” figure in high school into a mammoth that I am now. It made me quite envious of him. How did he maintain such a figure after all this years? He even looked taller than I remembered and thin (did I already mentioned that?). Anyway, it was always a good thing to see an old pal after so long (I think it was more or less 10 years now). We went out to a local restaurant/bar nearby to get a cup of tea. We exchange pleasantries as well as exchange updates on our friends and classmates back home. Anthony has quit his job (the one that assigns him here at Shanghai) and has since landed presumably a “better” job as an IT project manager of a multi – national company. He is living in Shanghai for 5 years now and I would say, he has actually settled in and felt quite “homey” to his new environs. To prove that point, he felt “safe” here in Shanghai for he could walk around in the wee hours of the morning without fear of being mug. It is actually difficult for me to imagine such “freedom” being a tourist. Locals on the other hand could feel that way because of familiarity. Actually, this could also be a testament of the Shanghai government’s relentless effort to maintain public order in the megapolis. Another thing about Anthony and that is he seems to be quite “pragmatic” nowadays than say when we were in high school. Actually, at our age, that wouldn’t be much of a surprise. However, his cheerfulness, his optimism, and his “sunny” face are very much the same like in high school. We chat for like 2 – 3 hours over a pot of Chamomile tea (and his over mango sundae, I think). Inevitably, our topic touched on Shanghai. I inquired about what he thinks about the view of comparing Shanghai to New York. And he answered by saying that like New York, Shanghai has also a culture of “no culture”. Pretty interesting comparison, because for the past day and a half, I noticed that there are several large banners and posters put up by the city government around the city extolling it’s citizen to jointly build a “civilized/cultured” megapolis. Honestly, I couldn’t understand the statement for the very few people that I’d met in Shanghai and they are pretty handful aren’t as “uncultured” as what was implied. Of course, I couldn’t make a general conclusion since I’ve been in Shanghai for roughly 36 hours more or less. Another thing about Shanghai according to Anthony was that Shanghai women are quite independent and “strong”. Shanghai women has a reputation of being “neng kan” (capable and talented). The women in general received higher pay than the men and it is common to see men “staying home” and taking care of the children, as a “houseband”. There are instances where the men actually moved in with the women (the custom here in the Philippines is actually the other way around). Could it be this is what Sally, our tour guide was saying about Shanghai men being “tee tieh” (caring and understanding)? Most likely, if Anthony’s observations are to be taken into account! Sally actually went further to offer an advice that “men should marry Japanese brides and women should marry Shanghai men”. (It is a very dangerous proposition actually as it may trigger an exodus of women from the Philippines to Shanghai looking for a “tee tieh” husband. If that unfortunately happens, I better move to Japan!). In conjunction to that point about the status of Shanghai women, Sally pointed out that most Shanghai people here adhere to the one child policy even if they had a daughter (Chinese policy allows them to have a second child if the first one was a daughter) and for that reason, Shanghai has already entered the ageing population phase wherein the number of old people outnumbers the working young ones. Anthony indirectly confirmed that observation also. Years ago, I had a lady friend from Shanghai who happens to be my group mate in MBA. She also put forward the same explanation to me when I inquire her as to why she is the only child. It seems to me that Shanghai people are very modern in their thinking just like their buildings. Could this be the reason why they don’t have a culture? If culture is defined as a behavioral pattern collectively exhibit by a group of people, then no culture doesn’t mean that people are “uncultured” but rather that there is no discernable collective behavioral pattern. Instead, there are a variety of behavioral patterns that coexist and some of which might even be contradictory to each other. This is probably true given the fast paced nature of life in Shanghai. It was so fast that no “permanent” behavioral pattern could take hold. Everything would seem fluid. Then there is also the fact of an ageing population, which would invariably draw provincials into the city and thus give rise to a character of “no” culture or the absence of any coherent behavior. Anyway, I was just thinking out loud. Well, after sometime, it dawned to me and Anthony that it’s getting late and so we head back to my hotel, which we got there almost midnight. Instead of parting, we actually continue where we left off. Only this time, our topic centered on the local Filipino community. Sad to hear though that the Filipinos here are not in solidarity with each other due mainly to social differences and the unruly behavior of some of its members (apparently, even in the Filipino community, the culture of “no” culture prevails, i.e., absence of a discernable collective behavioral pattern). Well, we could chat even more if not for the fact that it is already 0100 in the morning and I had to be up by 0400. We took a photo together, shook hands, and said our good byes. I wish I had more time to learn more about Shanghai and probably party with Anthony but I don’t. Too bad! Anyway, Anthony is coming back home this Christmas and I’m looking forward to a party.
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